I consider the first day to count the evening she was trapped and the first morning I got to really interact with her. I’ll start at the beginning…

On November 6th, 2018, after several days of failed trapping attempts, I received a call from my sponsor, Kris. She wanted me to know that another falconer, Richard, had trapped two female red-tailed hawks and wanted to know if I was interested. Well, after so many days of trying unsuccessfully to trap a bird I felt like I needed to at least go see the ones he had trapped. Maybe one of them was my bird – maybe one of them was Alder. I arrived at Richard’s house about 30 minutes later.

Bird #1

We put Richard’s temporary anklets on the first bird and weighed Bird #1. She was 1236 g. Her plumage was dark, with striking white patches on her breast and under her wings. When we took the stocking off of her head, she stood right up on the glove and stared at us with bright sharp eyes. Her wings were held wide and I could see her fully. She was beautiful. She was fiery and focused. She was strong and confident. We put her in my hawk box temporarily so we could sort out the second bird.

Bird #2

Bird #2 was heavier, 1251 g. Her plumage was mottled, much more chaotic. Her feathers were in disarray, her eyes seemed dark and wild – but felt empty.

The Choice

I had Bird #2 on my glove, while Richard picked up Bird #1 and held her nearby. I felt frozen and lost. I tried not to think. I looked at Bird #2 on my arm. She felt so distant. I looked at Bird #1 and she was there in the moment. Her gaze was piercing. She was grounded. I knew then as Bird #1 stared into my eyes with confidence that it was her. That was Alder.

Richard took Bird #2 and placed her in his mews, to be released in the morning as it was already getting late. I took Alder and placed her in the box, and we made the drive back home.

The First Morning

I couldn’t sleep that night. I woke up early and went to the office where Alder was in a crate for the night. I carefully opened the crate and extracted the giant ball of angry frightened feathers, and held her. Her wings were out and she would not take her eyes off of me. It was hours straight of that intense stare. I set up her bow perch to give my arm a rest.  She sat on it with her wings out and continued to look at me.

I was so exhausted by the end of the day. There was a physical aspect – my shoulder and arm burned from holding her weight out away from my body. I was tired from not sleeping the night before. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted from all of the anxiety, having a wild creature and the responsibility to take care of her, and the overwhelming desire to prove to her that I’m worthy of being her ally. It was a long day for both of us.